Women's translations

WOMENS LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

Im sorry. = You'll be sorry.

We need... = I want

Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = Youll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I dont want you to.

Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron! Youre so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Youre certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights  This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like.

Ill be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me Im beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you?re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to Whats wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = Its just that youre such an idiot!